


Insecurity (Drabble)

by inooyamalovr



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:06:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27210931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inooyamalovr/pseuds/inooyamalovr
Summary: He is an ace,  always shining on the stage, flawless, and has a beautiful big smile. Meanwhile He is just a member who often acts random, can not dance as energetic as the others and often forgets his line in live performance. Is it normal to feel insecure about their relationship?
Relationships: Inoo Kei/Yamada Ryosuke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Insecurity (Drabble)

Inoo was in bad mood after itajan first shot today. Actually it’s not “his” fault, He is just being himself as usual, and as a part of variety show jobs it's just a common thing. But lately something disturbed his mind which made Inoo feel insecure.It started with his conversation with Keito on video call last week.

_“You have not called him by his first name yet?” Keito yelled as heard Inoo’s confession_  
_“Is it that weird? I mean we’re just date for 2 years, ah, 20 month for more precisely”_  
_“But We have been working together for 13 years and both of you are in the same group even before our debut?!”_  
_“Hm yes, but..”_  
_“Call my name”_  
_“Eh?”_  
_“Just call my name as usual”_  
_“Keito?”_  
_“If you can call me by my first name then why can't you do the same with him?”_  
_“Are you stupid? I can’t call you okamoto because Okamoto kenichi is your father!”_  
_“Don’t make up an excuse..both of you should be calling each other first name soon. You love him right?”_  
_Of course I am! I have loved him since a long time, you know it and don’t ever question it.”_  
_“So you know what you should do Inoo-chan. OK I should go to my audition, will talk to you later, bye~”_

It should not be a big problem but whenever Inoo tries to call his lover with the first name He feel embarrassed and can not say anything. And He has his own insecurity, did Yamada love him that much?

His lover is a great idol and jump’s ace. He can do everything perfectly for singing, dance, acting, MC, etcs. He is also an excellent chef who prepared all their anniversary dinner by himself. But that’s not the main reason why Inoo loves Yamada so much, despite his perfection, the younger one is an amazing person.

Since their junior era Inoo always observed and looked at yamada from a far. Yamada’s hard work is his motivation to finish his study & being active as an idol at the same time. He know that yamada was a scaredy-cat, a dumb-yet-innocent guy, an introvert who loves to spent most of his free time in his gaming room, always give honest opinion, has sharp tongue and also the kind-hearted man. He loves that side of him, the human inside the idol forms.

Inoo’s mind went back to a few years ago when yamada suddenly called him out.

_“I know it might be weird but...please go out with me, Inoo-chan!” Yamada stared at inoo’s eyes softly. Even his hand was trembling due to nervousness, his eyes did not show any lie. Yamada really did his best to confess and Inoo knows that._  
_“ What? why? since when?” Inoo can’t think anything, yamada’s sudden confession made him speechless._  
_For these past years Yamada always teased him. He’ll complain about inoo’s lazy dance, bullied him in itajan shot especially when Inoo pointed as MC for the first time, scolded him for being too carefree and many more. Inoo is already prepared to have one-side love for his entire life because of that, but why?_  
_“I am sorry if I might surprise you. But I have already been looking at Inoo-chan for a long time, maybe from our pre-debut time. You’re my muse.”_  
_“But you always look down at me? I mean you never praise me or do something like that ?”_  
_“That because I am shy, I couldn’t show my feelings in the proper ways and I am really sorry. When I said Inoo chan dance is loose it means I did not want fans or staff to bully you because of that. I said that you’re too carefree as MC because I saw your potential and I want everyone to realize that, I was really happy when you’ve got a newscaster & regular MC jobs. Yeah I am not romantic at all and my words hurt people sometimes, but I did that because I care of you.”_  
_Inoo still didn’t believe what he just heard, it was true that he’s being motivated by yamada honest opinion about him and it led him to many jobs, but to think the small guy has a feeling for him, it does not feel real._  
_“Hm Inoo chan, do you hate me because of my personality?”_  
_“No! I always love you” Inoo answered it unconsciously, he’s panic because he did not want yamada misunderstood his silence_  
_“Eh hontou? then it is a yes? You want to be my boyfriend? Yokatta, thank you inoo-chan~” Yamada hugs Inoo tightly with a big smile on his face. Inoo hugged him back and stroked yamada’s head gently._

Inoo was smiling while remembering that moment, after they became a couple many jobs that involved both of them increased, yamada even asked for being together in a group unit for the “fanfare” single. Even yamada always acts cool in front of the camera but he really treats inoo very well. But like Keito mentioned before, Inoo still calls yamada by his last name and so did yamada. But is it really a problem for them?

  
“Are you still mad at him?” Hikaru suddenly came and surprised Inoo.  
“ I am not mad at him, I know he only jokes, but I was bothered with something else.”  
“And what is bothering you? He asked us to check you because you didn't answer him previously” Daichan also came with takaki who just finished their lunch and now three of them were questioning inoo’s strange behaviour.  
“I don’t know, I am just scared, Is he really in love with me? I am not as talented as him, I am not funny, I can’t cook except for some recipes, do I really deserve him?” Inoo can’t hold his insecure feelings anymore, He needs to tell someone, and BEST members are the best persons for that.  
“Did He ever complain about that? All the excuses that you’ve just mentioned?” Asked Takaki straightforwardly  
“Hmm never..”  
“Then why should you be concerned about that?” Hikaru asked  
“Because He never calls me by my first name?” Inoo replied innocently  
Hikaru, Daiki and Takaki burst out laughing with Inoo’s answers, they never think that a smart guy like Inoo is concerned about that small matters.  
“You guys are mean!” Inoo is pouting again looking at his best friends reaction.  
“Sorry..sorry but really, all your insecurities appeared because of that?” Hikaru still can’t hold his laugh  
“ He called all of you by first name, even Yuto is being called “Yutti”, but he still called me Inoo-chan. It’s the same from 16 years ago!”  
“Just remind me again, did you ever call him Ryosuke? Ryo-chan?”  
“I am shy, I still called him Yama-chan”  
“It’s normal for you to feel like that but if you never told him your true feeling He won’t understand. He’s the most insensitive among us, you know?” Hikaru tries to comfort his best friend.  
“I called Daichan chibi almost all the time” Takaki replied and got a small kick from his lover.  
“Oi bakaki! But it’s true, if you’re shy maybe you can just call him with any special nickname, the cute one you know?”  
“Yes! Do you remember He ever called you with the nickname from me and daichan? it was super cute tho”  
“It had been 5 years since the last time he called me that”  
“ You still listened to it until now, all of us know that you took the footage from our old show just for that"

  
Inoo blushed, he did not know all his friends now about his silly fact. Yuya was right, whenever he feeling sad or down listening to yamada's cute voice was the best medicine. Maybe He really needs to talk to Yamada about this.

**Meanwhile Yamada,**

  
He can not swallow his lunch properly, inoo’s rejection just now really bothering him. He never saw his partner act like that before.

  
“I think I teased him too much, isn’t it?” Yamada starts speaking. Yuto, Chinen and Yabu look at him together.  
“By pointing out his “unbalance”? C’mon you know you treated him worst before” Chinen answered.  
Chinen was right, Yamada is famous with his sharp tongue and it’s not his first time teasing Inoo on camera. And Inoo was never mad at him.  
“But last time I made fun of Yuri in itajan, He did not speak to me for 24 hours. Maybe Inoo chan just copy his act to be spoiled?”  
“You call me a spoiled kid!?” Chinen try to hit Yuto’s head but he can’t reach, Yuto just calmly holds chinen’s hand while smiling to the shortest one.  
“I doubt that, Kei and Yuri were a different type, He won’t be mad with the simple act. Maybe you did anything else that made him mad?” Yabu asked his younger member.  
“I have been busy with my drama’s shoot for past months but Inoo never complained about that. I don’t know, is he bored?”

Yamada knows that his private life is not that fun. He can play a game almost 12hr a day at home, he's not romantic, he prefers having date at home compared to going out and he always talks straightforwardly. Maybe Inoo is already tired of him, maybe Inoo just want another active guy like Yabu, Yuto or Takaki who’ll take him to many interesting places, or maybe Inoo is lonely because he’s busy lately…..these insecurities are just killing him slowly!

“I will ask him”  
“Nani?”  
“I will ask why he’s avoiding me, I miss his sweet smile already” Yama sighed heavily

Yuto, Yabu and Chinen looking at each other, they’re not used to seeing Yamada as desperate as this. Maybe love can change people completely.

 **After break**  
Doubt game continues and it’s time to reveal who’s lie in Daiki’s team. Yamada’s team was guessing wrong but something unexpected happened.

“Yuto & Daiki’s act was good but Chan is very bad!” Yamada gave his comment about the member’s acting.

Chan…..

Inoo can’t hide his smile anymore, even though his lover just said his acting was very bad, But Yamada just called him “chan” again? after 5 years? on camera? and with that sweet smile?

  
Inoo’s brain can not work properly. Is Yamada jealous because Hikaru just called him Chan? But Hikaru & Daichan are often called that. Then why?  
But Inoo is a simple guy, Yamada’s soft movement made him forget his anxiety & insecurity just now. He enjoys all the rest of the shoot for today.

 **At the green room**  
“Yama-chan~ do you have time after this? I have something to talk.” Inoo approaches Yamada with a sweet smile.  
“Eh, sure sure! I always have time for you!” Yamada answered quickly, he looked around, and suddenly realized that there are only two of them in the green room.  
“I am sorry….I am so childish today. I am not being myself and made you worried” Inoo started to talk.  
Yamada holds inoo’s pretty hand, he kiss it gently then stare deeply into Inoo’s eyes.  
“Ssh it’s okay, I am glad you approached me first because if you don’t I am going to kidnap you on our way home, hahha. But what happened? Am I doing something wrong?”  
The younger looks worried and Inoo takes his seat beside him.  
“No you don’t...I'm just suddenly feeling insecure. I love you so much but I don’t think you have the same feeling”  
“What?! We have been dating for 2 years and you always feel that way? Hey hey look into my eyes” He turn Inoo’s body to face him.  
“I am not good with words, I only can answer that I can’t live without you. Your rejection today almost drives me crazy, and I can not concentrate at all. Isn’t it describing my feelings enough?”  
Yamada’s eyes never change, it’s still the same as his confession time 2 years ago and Inoo is not stupid to realize that.  
“Kei please...give me one more chance?”  
“Eh what did you just say?”  
“Give me one more chance?”  
“No no before that”  
“Kei?”  
“How come you said it casually now? Why did you never call me by my first name before, I am always waiting for you to call me that, baka!”

  
Yamada froze for a while, Inoo was very cute with his pouting lips and those sad eyes, but he did not understand why he’s mad now.

  
“Keito called me last week and he was surprised that we’re still not calling each other by our first names yet. That triggered insecurities inside me, I think you’re not love me enough!”  
“Oh my dear Kei...so that’s the reason. Hahhahah!”  
“It’s not funny, you know”  
“Gomen gomen but you’re very cute just now, I am totally whipped!”  
“Yama-chan stop it, you just embarrassed me!”  
“Wakatta! so from now on I will call your first name if you called mine too” Yamada smirked at his boyfriend  
“You’re a little devil!”  
“It’s not fair! Why can't I get my right also?”  
“Aaaah I am tired and hungry, mind to grab a dinner first before going home, Ryo-chan?”

Now it’s yamada’s turn to change into a tomato, his cheeks are completely red.  
It was weird, they have been together for almost 16 years and Inoo can still give this butterfly effect to him. He loves everything in Inoo’s and it will never change.

“Un, let’s go Kei, what do you want to eat?”  
  


End


End file.
